I’m not sure what the solution is – I could suggest some things but the real issue is that the mental health profession needs to address the re-traumatization issue. I talked a bit about my childhood in the beginning sessions, but then felt like I was starting to make progress. Since I am not a professional and do not have access to clinical trials and or research tens of thousands will suffer everyday and many will commit suicide because of mental illness! Good therapy can be the most healing elixir around; it can improve your overall health, relationships, career, lifespan and quality of life. Teacher wanted a testimonial instead of the truth, and spent the whole hour degrading, insulting, and smearing the student, rather than another irrelevant, boring preachy lecture. I am not in therapy, but I work on my awareness and soul healing and I found these characteristisc to be true. It reminds me of the story of puerperal, or “childbed” fever that was unknowingly spread by attending physicians in the obstetrical clinic at the hospital in Vienna in the 1840’s before the “germ theory of disease” was known or accepted. She hasn't gotten a raise in that time, neither have I. They will say that this is the new you, you are doing it for yourself, these people were toxic, and they want to continue their ways and now your enlightened self is a threat to them. Mostly, I feel terrible guilt and even shame that I was sucked into such a twisted situation and unable to see it for what it was even when it was killing me. Weakened though I felt mine had become not only from the original trauma but from the extensive, continued put-downs of going to therapy. I contacted him and asked for a referral and explained in a very long email the reasons why I was angry (because ultimately that was MY therapy and I wasnt paying money to feel invalidated or kicked out of his practice like I didnt matter) and the response was (you've guessed it) completely unprofessional and critical. On the other hand, when a couple is venturing toward divorce territory, Sussman said they often "feel that there's nothing else that can be done to save the relationship." The retraumatizing happened at my old VA job by SW in my dept. Old ones fade and new, healthier relationships enter your life. Most of the research done on this kind of thing was paid for and designed by the tech industry. You could even get worse. I came out feeling worse, but felt that maybe we could resolve things next week, but by the next session it was like she was trying to cover herself by putting the blame on me. From the U.S.: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 10 months. You start to find conversations with your friends less satisfying. Great description ! But I still suffer from PTSD and panic attacks. This is nothing more than a particular noxious form of content advertising, where only the positive attributes of a product are discussed. And the comments on this blog have helped, IMO, to provide a forum where people who have been hurt by therapy could speak out and have our comments made public. I don´t know if it helps to you, but writing about this bad female narc therapist could be helpful to you. Contact was completely cut off. In addition, a therapist/counselor cannot engage in a dual relationship with you. Don't let them bully or manipulate you. As horrifying as it sounds today, they did autopsies as well as the patient exams with their bare hands, back before anybody knew for sure about “germs”. They enjoy dishing the dirt, talking behind others' backs, finding blame, or sulking about the unfairness of life. They should not tease or flirt with you in any way. I don´t want to give up on my healing (however to pass the bad experience will be tough. By that I do not mean a type of "holding my hand" relationship but somebody that would tell me "you did a great job" when I moved forward and did something that was hard. I'm incredibly traumatized. Then too, there was the whole recovered-memory fad of the ‘90s in which people who had nothing wrong with them were hypnotized into believing that they grew up in satanic cults and would go crazy without “help.” The codependency movement, with its pathologization of anybody who feels strongly attached to a romantic partner, also comes to mind. If your abandonment issues are connected to trauma, then you might need a therapy that helps you stabilise before you delve too deeply into the past. So true. Voicing your concern and seeking better therapeutic help is a sign of health and boundaries — not resistance or an indication of your brokenness. Our sons turned out well through all the horror that their parents put them through. She has no social life, except for me listening to her while I make dinner. Good you are not seeing her anymore ! Therapy can destroy relationships by forcing participants to evaluate their expectations, self worth and the effect their relationships have on them. Therapy is not love. You say it perfectly "just because someone has a degree and...a position of power" does not mean they can do the job. At one point, there was an ethical breach that caused me to have to seek out assistance from her professional ethics committee, and upon them agreeing that my concerns were valid and my client rights were being wrongly denied to me, that too led to more threats to terminate. They even cannot get that healing is much more deeper and about truth, not about manipulation (their main way walking through the life). After a few of these group meetings it became clear to me that the people leading the group had their "favorites", typically white kids from wealthy supportive families and then there were the rest of us who were frequently talked down to or even openly insulted (I will never forget the response I received when I informed the group I was admitted into college, two counselors acted as if it were some kind of miracle since they both thought I was stupid). It's also normal that you would put your faith in someone who is sitting there as a 'professional' and good that you had some hope of things working out. Thanks for nothing but demonstrating his point, The sickest part about the whole "field" is that there is no customer service. I was always at "fault" for her negative feelings. Nightmarish. Maybe that's the biggest fight of all. Based on my experience, the equilvalent of “germs” include therapists’ shaming, invalidating, belittling behaviors, many of which are probably reactions when the therapist is (possibly unconsciously) feeling defensive. No time in history did humans go out of their way to develop one sided relationships. The end of a relationship is not a “failure” In the meantime the facts tell us that rates of stress, mental illness and despair are rising here in the US, thanks to this kind of content marketing. And there aren’t enough of us yet, well enough and vocal enough, to gain some public attention to the issue. "When you're in a healthy relationship, it can throw a little sunshine on everything in your life," she told Business Insider. It is really clear they are contributing to the misinformation, and propaganda, to sell books, promote themselves or attract corporate funding through their institutions. Instead, you should begin to see measurable improvement in your life. How do people on here find each other and communicate to get things done because this is not going to change anything....Shadowmoon Rising. All of these are normal and real side effects of living. She had been rehabilitated. A concerned doctor, Ignatz Semmelweis, gathered some statistics. Hello, Healthy therapy doesn't break your bank account. I thoyght thats weird I grew up in ?? The thing that's really disturbing, though, is that she's rapidly climbed up the professional ladder, going from community health clinics, up to a swanky psychologist's practice...Everyone is always saying how great she is.....I'm angrier than hell. I feel responsible because I am the one who pushed her to seek treatment. Therapists/counselors are human beings. There's no way to complain. While there's been some research on the detrimental effects of poor therapy, it's difficult to measure the actual numbers of people who have suffered at the hands of a damaging psychotherapist. And then you shared your story with the community! We, therapist, as experts, are usually right. She's been seeing this therapist for over 5 years now. It is quite profitable too. To answer you John—yes, they want to keep is sick and also dumb, and its working. In that process, you may discover that some of your relationships are unhealthy. We wont see any actual "studies" on the impact of their actions. But I’m also coming to understand how much hurt, shame, dysregulation, and confusion came from taking well-meaning advice from therapists who didn’t know better. Thank you so much for writing this article. And how many perfectly normal women in the early 20th century were told that they needed to get therapy to overcome their “Electra complex” or “penis envy”? Best wishes. She was young and pretty, and her compassion (?) 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